Bad Religion: Phoebe Bridgers’ Atheistic Spirituality

The critical darling doesn’t believe in God. Her lack of faith didn’t stop her from writing a record inspired by religion and the occult.

Bad Religion explores the relationship between music and spirituality, from Christianity and Islam to the paranormal and the occult.

Written by Felix Kalvesmaki

Photo courtesy of Olof Grind

Phoebe Bridgers has always been a touch spookier than her peers. Her ghost-adorned album covers, occasionally gothic music videos, and penchant for the eerie is part of her branding. It’s the same reason she (along with her entire band, which at times includes Bright Eyes frontman Conor Oberst) performs each set with a skeleton costume on, sporting several black guitars: Her music is a little creepy, and she’s adopted an aesthetic to match it.

Although Bridgers has described herself as an atheist, religion and spirituality seem to greatly influence her work. She sings cynically of dream interpretation in her single “Funeral”: “I don’t need you to tell me what that means / I don’t believe in that stuff anymore.” It’s often this way that the singer speaks of the spiritual: a wanting to believe, but a lack of faith.

This is most apparent in her second record, 2020’s Punisher. Bridgers brought Michelle Tea’s “Modern Tarot,” a guidebook to reading a Tarot deck, to the studio to kill time with her bandmates between takes; the artist claims it as one of her favorite books. She even said in an Apple Music interview that “Garden Song,” the album’s first single, is “to get really L.A. on it — manifesting.” Elaborating, she explained that the song is about dreams, pessimism, and “fighting back dark, evil murder thoughts and feeling like if I really want something, it happens, or it comes true in a totally weird, different way than I even expected.”

And she’s not alone. Manifestation is a TikTok trend right now. Popularized in the 19th century by spiritualist Phineas Quimby, this practice has origins in Christianity and Hinduism. One may know it better as the law of attraction, which essentially states that people attract what they predict is already there. Spiritualists would claim it’s not simply wanting something, it’s feeling assured you already have it, until you actually have it. Not to mention, some also claim it works in reverse: One could attract just as much negativity as positivity.

Good news for Bridgers: With lyrics singing of a future love and a rose-laden yard, “Garden Song” stands out among her discography as one of its most optimistic songs. In the track, she admits she’s “not afraid of hard work / I get everything I want.” The song ends with a swell of strings as Bridgers proclaims, “I have everything I wanted.” If Bridgers was manifesting success in “Garden Song,” perhaps her recent stint on SNL might have satisfied her.

Photo courtesy of Davis Bates

But the paranormal isn’t all that Bridgers sings of. Christian themes make their way into several of Punisher’s songs, most notably “Chinese Satellite,” which revolves around her lack of belief. This track starts off slow, with confessions like “I’ve been running around in circles / Pretending to be myself” backed by gentle guitar strums. Eventually, it builds into something of a confession: She doesn’t believe in God.

“I have no faith — and that’s what it’s about,” she said to Apple Music. “My friend Harry put it in the best way ever once. He was like, ‘Man, sometimes I just wish I could make the Jesus leap.’ But I can’t do it. I mean, I definitely have weird beliefs that come from nothing. I wasn’t raised religious. I do yoga and stuff. I think breathing is important. But that’s pretty much as far as it goes.”

But despite her lack of religiosity, her lyrics still bleed with contemplation on concepts like the afterlife. “I think when you're gone, it's forever / But you know I'd stand on the corner / Embarrassed with a picket sign / If it meant I would see you when I die,” she croons in the second verse of “Chinese Satellite.” It’s a kind of devotion that evokes Hozier’s “Take Me to Church,” a conflation of the religious and the romantic. Denominational tension directly precedes the aforementioned lines: “You were screamin' at the Evangelicals / They were screamin' right back from what I remember.”

“Chinese Satellite” stands as a reminder that religion is pervasive, even if an individual doesn’t buy into it. Regardless of background, American students declare themselves as part of “one nation, under God.” American politicians sometimes invoke Christianity in legislation that will serve people of other religions, or of no religion at all. Religion is ingrained in how we talk about world history (think the Crusades, schisms, and forced colonization), as well as modern topics like civil rights for marginalized groups. 

When one feels ostracized by religion rather than accepted by it, the experience can be lonely and othering. This is a song that could quite literally be described as godforsaken: With lines like “I want to believe / Instead, I look at the sky and I feel nothing / You know I hate to be alone / I want to be wrong,” Bridgers feels that God has left her behind. Listening in 2021 after a year of pandemic-fueled political turmoil, it’s hard to blame her. One quote from an i-D article explains the apathy succinctly: “She has resigned to the fact that the world has gone to shit and we’re all on our way out.”

But pessimism isn’t the only way Bridgers views religion. There’s a bit of an adrenaline rush that  comes with “I Know The End.” It’s a traveling song from Bridgers’ perspective, but her word choice and imagery places an apocalyptic backdrop behind this touring van. She sings of sirens and storm chasers, a “fear of God,” and a creation myth. Government drones, alien spaceships, and haunted houses also make appearances. It’s heavy on scenery, but it’s all tied together by the final chorus, when the singer chants, “The end is here, the end is here, the end is here” like a street preacher convincing a dying world of its fate.

A billboard sometimes takes the place of that street preacher, as the song references. The “end is here” slogan may be familiar to anyone who’s taken a drive around Texas. For instance, Christian billboards seeking converts are scattered across I-35. Any variation of “the end is nigh/here/near” is  derived from the New Testament: “But the end of all is at hand. Be prudent therefore, and watch in prayers” could be referencing the events of the fiery Book of Revelation. You know, the one where the Great Beast (or Satan) shows up and ruins everything before the second coming of Christ. It’s a sick reference for an album closer, and Bridgers raps up the intensity to match, with a death metal outro that could knock a bear off his feet.

Bridgers has a knack for invoking religious phrasing and imagery despite her personal beliefs, which makes for a transcendental listen. At times, it feels like Punisher has a mind of its own, like it has its own devotions. For sure, an album depicting drug use and "emotional affairs" is far from a Sunday school lesson, but it's a psychedelic trip of spirituality in its own right.