The Feminine Musique: “Dear Future Husband”

In her catchy 2015 single, Meghan Trainor illustrates the harmful effects of internalized misogyny with lyrics celebrating traditional gender roles.

The Feminine Musique is a series where writers analyze portrayals of women in music.

Written by Emily Gruner

Photo courtesy of MeghanTrainorVEVO and Epic Records

Meghan Trainor has never been one to shy away from the spotlight. She’s been an outspoken advocate for body positivity ever since “All About That Bass” went viral in 2014. Since then, she’s released more music and even married Daryl Sabara (yes, that’s Juni Cortez from “Spy Kids”). But, she didn’t get married before first singing about marriage in “Dear Future Husband” and making a few old-fashioned promises to her future significant other.

Take me on a date

I deserve a break

And don't forget the flowers every anniversary

'Cause if you'll treat me right

I'll be the perfect wife

Buying groceries

Buy-buying what you need

Meghan Trainor got a lot of flak for stating she wasn’t “strong enough to have an eating disorder” in a 2014 interview with Entertainment Tonight, but the issues projected in her work go even farther than that. In this particular chorus, we can start to piece together the beginnings of a cruel manifestation of internalized misogyny. The lines “I’ll be the perfect wife / Buying groceries” clearly equate being a good wife with doing domestic chores. Yes, buying groceries for your significant other is nice. But does the woman have to exclusively do the grocery shopping in a relationship? No — partnerships are partnerships. Chores should be shared, and being a good partner requires more than just fulfilling some 1950s stereotype.

You got that nine to five

But, baby, so do I

So don't be thinking I'll be home and baking apple pies

I never learned to cook

But I can write a hook
Here, Trainor pokes fun at traditional roles, but in doing so, she still falls into tricky stereotypes. She acknowledges she can’t cook, but she quickly tries to make up for it by saying she can write songs. We appreciate a woman who admits she can’t cook, but by following it up with the next lyric, Trainor indicates that a woman needs to make up for this supposed shortcoming with another positive trait. She misses an opportunity to comment on the fact that a woman doesn’t have anything to make up for if she can’t whip up the traditional meat and potatoes dinner. In this chorus, she insinuates that a woman should be ashamed of not being able be the “perfect wife,” a trope that doesn’t even exist in reality in the first place.

Dear future husband

Here's a few things you'll need to know if you wanna be

My one and only all my life

Dear future husband

If you wanna get that special lovin'

Tell me I'm beautiful each and every night

After every fight

Just apologize

And maybe then I'll let you try and rock my body right

Even if I was wrong

You know I'm never wrong

Why disagree?

Why, why disagree?

If the internalized misogyny was enough, she’s just making it worse by caricaturing herself as a  “crazy” wife, a misogynistic and horribly unrealistic stereotype in and of itself. Trainor creates this hyperbolized list of characteristics for her future husband to follow. Of course, everyone has some sort of idea of what they want in their significant other, but Trainor is making it seem like all women have a laundry list of shallow requirements, such as constant compliments on her looks. In this sense, she’s objectifying herself by suggesting that she only needs comments on her looks to be emotionally fulfilled.

On a similar note, she draws from the not-so-funny joke that “women are always right.” By suggesting that she’s “never wrong,” Trainor reinforces the idea that women are feisty and can’t have healthy disagreements with others. Even more so, she suggests that between being told she’s pretty and being told she’s right, she’ll be satisfied in a relationship, as if women in relationships are universally fulfilled by the constant reiteration of two empty statements.

Perhaps the most frustrating aspect of this song is Trainor’s treatment of sex. She uses it as a way to reward her husband, to congratulate him for being a “good boy.” In this sense, she fails to recognize that sex is an integral part of a relationship that is supposed to be enjoyable for both parties. Sex is a natural part of all kinds of relationships, but in this case, Trainor is using this very intimate activity as a manipulation tactic. As a result, she projects the harmful stereotype that women who embrace their sexuality are “temptresses” while also negating the fact that healthy relationships should have healthy sex.

There’s so much more in this song that exemplifies how Meghan Trainor, along with some other female entertainers today, are projecting a misogynistic message to other women and girls. Trainor’s work caters to young girls, yet she’s not teaching the healthiest relationship habits here. This song is based on ancient stereotypes, and although the lyrics may be catchy, young girls deserve more substance from their idols.